Bro this ain’t Oliver Kahn, this is Oliver Can’t. EA really gave us a ‘legendary’ goalkeeper who dives like he’s carrying two fridges on his back. 86 rated? More like 186 cm of pure disappointment. Every shot feels like a prime R9 rocket to him, even if it’s a 2mph trickle from Harry Maguire’s right foot. His handling is worse than my Sunday League keeper after 8 pints, and don’t even get me started on his positioning – man’s playing hide and seek with the goalposts. Icon? Nah, he’s just an overpriced bronze in disguise.
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