Player Review

86 - Halloween SBC
Slippery Little Bast*rd
By wonttellyouagain, 30-10-2019

I loved watching this guy play in MLS and I don't really have a proper like-for-like sub for Messi on my bench, so I thought what the hell. This guy plays pretty much exactly how I thought he would. Tiny, fast, agile, close control, great shooting, excellent passing. He's the type of guy that gets tackled 3, 4, 5, a half dozen times before he loses the ball, then immediately wins it back. Really does feel like the poor man's GOAT. I swear he's got a cephalopod trait that allows him to expand and contract his body at will to get in and out of tight spaces where a normal man could not.

Acceleration is great out of tight spots but he's not going to outrun most meta defenders, which I feel like Messi is usually pretty capable of. I was subbing him on so stamina was no issue for me. He's an absolute dwarf and won't win a single contested header in any situation, but you should still try because it's hilarious watching him only get about chest high with his jump.

  • Tight dribbling
  • Great passing range
  • Decent shooting if somewhat inconsistent
  • 4-star combo
  • Big heart
  • tiny man
Formation: 4231
Position: CAM
Games: 10
GPG: 0.60
APG: 0.30
Pace (7/10)
Shooting (7/10)
Passing (9/10)
Dribbling (9/10)
Defending (1/10)
Physicality (2/10)
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