Reviews

92 - ShowDown SBC
5.0
Zagatwo (Return of the Jumbo Shrimp)
By SirPengu, 18-05-2021

Hello all, I hope your are surviving FIFA so far, this game has been dead for a while until today, so do not put the controller away just yet. This is a player that will change your perspective completely in both defending, attacking, and life as we know it. Dan Axel "JUMBO SHRIMP" Zagadou has returned with another banging card. This sex symbol of a player will not only scare all of the fragile meta cards of your opponent's team, but put a distinct image into your enemy's brain. Dan will tear through the flesh walls of your opposition's molecular grey matter, and leave a JUMBO SHRIMP-sized dent for life. Please use Dan carefully as the FIFA community will be braindead by 2 months if used excessively(not that the community isn't already ;)). As we know from last year, Dan has stats that may not look pleasing to the eye, however this is a pure deception from the con artists at EA. They do not want us to use him. They know how good he is. They are scared. 


The community did not listen last year. There were and still are reliant followers of Dan, but not enough. There needs to be more. I need to see JUMBO SHRIMPS in FUT Champs. There is still time for change. 


And onto the review of the demi-god himself. Big Zag can play in literally every position on the damned pitch. ST CB LWB you name it Zags got it in his Lizzo-sized locker. This versatile, sexy animal has done it all for me, to the point where I have become fully dependent on him. I consistently switch his position every 15 minutes in game to make sure my team doesn't become too top-heavy like Chelsea, or too bottom-heavy like Sommer Ray. DO NOT make me pick his best position or I will put you into a dark corner with the man himself and I tell you, he won't be gentle with you like beginner mode. Jumping into his stats, Dan has a wet and juicy 85 pace for starters and the first word that comes to mind is voluptuous. Those provocative legs are faster than me in bed. Slap a hunter on that bad boy and he has me foaming from the mouth. Not only is his shooting delicious without a chemstyle, but with that beloved hunter he contradicts God. Dan's dribbling is as clean as a two-footed, studs up slide tackle, but you got the ball. He is able to almost float past opposing defenders with ease, putting your team in constant goal scoring scenarios. Jumbo Shrimp's passing is as fluid as expired milk, but in a good way because you can just strain out the chunks and it's still edible :). Playing a pass with Dan is a waste of his potential, so you should either be circulating the entire play around him, or selling him to GGMU where all great potentials go to shit become great! Finally, Dan's defensive side. The truest forms of orgasms come from these stats. Dan is a wall. A pure nuisance when faced 1-on-1. Every single meta player will be head-first into the ground, eating dirt after stepping a foot near Zag. Whether it's his 99 strength, blessed from the Gods, or his 99 stand tackling, Dan has established himself as the greatest player in FUT for two years in a row. 


If you may have noticed. Dan Axel Zagadou was out last year with a horrid ACL injury, one we know he is strong enough to recover from. Should I remind you of the date of his injury? January. Let me ask another rhetorical question: When did COVID-19 begin to spread around the world? January. Now I'm not saying Dan's unbalance in the world of football has caused a global pandemic, but I'm also not denying it. Cases peaked on days that Dan got re-injured. January, April, August...Does this sound like a fluke NOW? The followers of Dan need to do anything it takes to protect Dan from this appalling injury bug so that the world itself does not explode. It might be December but are in the endgame now. The world is at stake and we need a large enough group to save the world. I have to inform you fellow Jumbo Shrimpers, the ones who have remained in this beautiful cult family. We need a larger impact. We need to reach TikTok. I know. Very risky but the 12 year-old army are the ones that are most powerful in numbers. This needs to also reach basic instagram meme page level as that is also where the 12 year-olds hibernate. If you have been brought here, WE NEED YOU. Let Dan know we are here for him. Dan needs the most support to fully recover and save the world. 

PROS

I feel like it's necessary to write a second poem for Dan. 

  • Dan has grown
  • Dan has shown
  • Dan will make my brother moan
  • Dan is no loan
  • Dan makes it known 
  • Dan makes me run out of words to use on rhymezone.


CONS

  • Once again, Dan unfortunately cannot not be duplicated into each position at the same time.
  • Dan has still not married either one of my parents (still hoping).
  • The world is unfortunately still at risk (unless YOU make a difference).



Formation: 3421
Position: CB
Games: 420
GPG: 0.16
APG: 0.00
5.0
Overall
5.0
Value
5.0
GC
0.5
Stamina
Pace (10/10)
Shooting (10/10)
Passing (10/10)
Dribbling (10/10)
Defending (10/10)
Physicality (10/10)
5.0
Amazing
By JorgeMTS1, 18-05-2021

So as a Dortmund fan when saw him and Jude i had to get them right away i luckly had enough fodder for both. And let me tell you he is a monster. I played some div rivals games in div 2 to try them both out i played in a 4312 Zagadou paired up with TOTS Tapsoba and that is the best CB duo i have ever used. Pace i would give him a 8.5 out of 10 did not really struggle with it but i know it can be better. Passing 8 out of 10 nothing wrong with it its pretty good. Dribbling i would give him a 7.5. Defending he was insane 9.8 out of 10 he was winning every challenge he got in to. Physicality 9.7 out of 10 he is amazing there easily out bodied anyone i came against, only problem might be the stamina and even there it was not even bad. So should you do him? I would really recommend him he was amazing at defending and pace and his strength was even better really all you need for a CB. And im also confident we can beat leverkusen so that will make him even better. HEJA BVB

Sprint speed and Acceleration

Short and long passing

Every thing in Defending

Strength

Aggression

League and Nation links

High defensive WR

Price

No really good traits

Agility and balance are not too good

Formation: 4312
Position: CB
Games: 4
GPG: 0.00
APG: 0.00
5.0
Overall
5.0
Value
4.0
GC
3.5
Stamina
Pace (8/10)
Shooting (5/10)
Passing (8/10)
Dribbling (7/10)
Defending (10/10)
Physicality (10/10)
5.0
Very reliable.
By thomassiistmuller, 18-05-2021

Damn what a cb a cb that should bring a change to fullbacks at cb. This man is soo solid. Forget all the rbs u lot are playing at cbs this man is another level lad. I cant really review a cb that much but to review him i just have to say with a shadow he is a beast. Basic chem style and he is ok the acceleration is a bit annoying and to be honest it doesnt feel like 80 acceleration it feels more of a 75 or 77 but then with a shadow i am suprised how much it actually helps the card. the 77 feeling acceleration turns into 87 or 90 he feels so much faster. Mybe what slowed him down was his body type and damn irl i would wanna mess w this mf. My backline is this guy upamecano and they are very simmilar cards. Upamecano is a little bit better in terms of dribbling and pace which is a bit odd but then zagadou is far better at defending. His strentgh his phyisicals make him sooo good. Istg this guy is such a solid cb. In terms of pace its sick. I had him 1v1 rashford in form and i am soo suprised how well he did, He didnt outpace him but he did enough to come close to him and with his strength and bodied him off. Well done lad. One thing i hated was the jumping its not that good when i am dealing with crosses. people dont do crosses that much but when they do the jumping is a bit of an issue like if you have a tall striker like ISAK then i am f*cked and when it comes to corners he isnt really a corner cheat code I like my cbs scoring from corners but then its tough for him to get the ball when attempting to head from tall defenders like varane :/. But when he is against an average cm or cb he does sick if he gets his head on the ball. His heading is sick if he actually gets his head on the cross. Links are mad too you have upamecano, lacroix,rossoulion and mukiele plus muller :)) so good life. To summarise he is a sick cb who has a bit of a slow acceleration which is annoying but then does the job defending with his physicals more than his pace, His pace is incredible with a shadow but still would struglle against 99 paced mfs like wamannnnnnnnnnnnn. which is calm but then mbappe is a problem. His physicals make up for his pace in all honesty. He can be clunky on the ball but then i dont dribble with cbs so i couldnt really care less and i just wished he had better jumping apart from that life is good with him in your backline and i can safely say he will be my cb with upamecano for a long time. Very reliable cb. forgot to mention his passing was sick. i gave muller a long pass and damnnn what a clean pass!

Sprint speed,

Passing

Physicals are great

strong af.

Maybe the acceleration without a shadow it is an issue against really fast wingers

Jumping is just dissapointing but i will deal with it for now.

K

Formation: 433
Position: CB
Games: 7
GPG: 0.14
APG: 0.29
5.0
Overall
4.0
Value
4.5
GC
4.5
Stamina
Pace (9/10)
Shooting (5/10)
Passing (10/10)
Dribbling (7/10)
Defending (10/10)
Physicality (10/10)